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Dear (Insert Your Name Here):
Having more cash makes the holidays merrier. This letter and the enclosed checks are a huge gift box to you brimming with cash. Celebrate the holidays just the way you want. Call a caterer and give yourself and your friends a truly wonderful holiday party. Surprise someone special with a gift everyone will talk about for years to come.
Use the enclosed checks and get a jump on the New Year. Whatever your plans, the enclosed checks will make gift giving seem effortless.
We are giving you the spending power that's bound to make the happiest of holidays for those who mean so much to you. Get extra cash and have peace of mind for the New Year. Wrap up holiday details quickly and conveniently with the enclosed access checks, then sit back and enjoy the holiday season.
Purchase new furniture or a computer… Make a down payment on a new car… Take a vacation… Even write a check to yourself, deposit it into your checking account to use however you like.
Sincerely,
Your Friend Chief Marketing Officer Your Credit Card Company
Translated Version:
Dear Naive Customer:
We depend on you to make us rich. Therefore, increase your debt and have a miserable holiday. The enclosed checks are not a gift. They are disguised as a gift and we say they are a gift for the foolish people out there who will use them (and there are plenty of people who will). They really aren't a gift, they are just credit offers to make you pay more for things than you would if you were paying cash.
Celebrate the holidays the way you want. Spend as much as you can. We'll get rich off of you. You should be paying off your mortgage but we'll get you to pay us instead and then one day you'll wake up old, still owing us lots of money and you won't be able to retire because you have nothing.
So get yourself in more bondage this holiday season. Borrow from us to consolidate your loans. Then you'll free up those other cards so you can charge them up again. It works most of the time. If you have a lot of debt, show your friends that everything is under control. Throw a party and have it catered. We won't charge you anything until that check hits the bank. Then we'll get you on interest from day one. But your friends will be impressed and that's what counts. Yes, increase your debt. Everyone around you would be so much happier. It's the noble thing to do!
Set yourself back financially for the New Year. Go now, cash these checks (that's why we give deadlines to motivate you into quick action). Work an extra 20 years to pay these bills off. Indulge yourself now. You deserve to have everything you want right now. Self- Gratification rules! That's our motto and we love it. It makes us rich!
Get some cash now. You won't have peace of mind after you get our bill. We will make money off of you even if you pay your bill in full, which most of you won't do. We know that and that's why we offer you the promotional rate for a few months. You'll be so in debt it'll probably take you 42 years to pay off the bill. That's the average for most people. Plus, we'll increase your interest rate after just a few months and we'll always apply the payments you make to the lowest interest portion of your bill.
We know you can't afford a fancy new television set or that expensive new sports car but if you use these checks you can get them. You may end up defaulting on the loan and losing the purchase but that's ok. We'll still make lots of money. Matter a fact, if you pay the item off eventually, you'll usually pay 3 times the purchase amount because of interest and we get that money. By the way, if you can't think of anything to buy and need a little extra time, just write a check for the highest amount and put the money in your bank account. Sure we'll charge you more interest than your bank pays but just think about all the money you'll have in your account.
You probably won't enjoy the holiday season much worrying about your payments and being slaves to your debt, but we really don't care.
Happy Debt-Ridden Holidays
Sincerely,
Disclosure Department of Your Credit Card Company
Doris Dobkins is a money saving expert, author and speaker and has helped thousands of people find ways to save money and get out of debt.
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