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Here's a "tip", or habit, really, that my husband and I decided to use. While reading a sociological study of the Victorian era, I learned that they often used peer pressure on parents to keep children from becoming spoiled and ungrateful. For birthdays and holidays, parents were told to get their children 4 gifts..."something they want, something they need, something to play with and something to read." We have watched my husband's daughter get more and more overwhelmed each holiday thanks to the multitude of gifts she receives from us, my parents, her mother and stepfather and her step-father's parents.
She has gotten to the point where she doesn't appreciate anything she receives and can't even keep track during get-togethers of who gave her what. After reading the book this summer, I decided it was the perfect plan/catch phrase to implement, and we put it in motion for her 5th birthday, which was November 4th.
In shopping for a specific four types of items, I was less prone to impulse buys for her and I also found that I kept the spending way under the regular budget.
We also started another new tradition for her birthday, borrowed from a parenting magazine. This was her first year having a "friends" party, but we knew she'd be getting gifts from family. So we gave her two parties. A family get-together in the morning where she was allowed to have gifts and a friend party in the evening. We let her decide between asking for cat or dog food to donate to the local animal shelter or books to donate to the library, and she chose pet food. She helped me design her invitations on the computer (another savings) and we specifically told her guests to please not bring any gifts. If they wanted to bring her something, please make it some food for the shelter that she could take in later.
I did have to pull one mother aside when she arrived with a two sets of barrettes and get quite firm with her before the kids saw them. I simply informed her that our daughter was not allowed to accept the gift and to please respect it. She hated to not give a "real" gift, but we were adamant and she kept them hidden. If other parents try this tactic, it is best to catch all the parents of the invited children ahead of time and head them off at the pass. Shoot, it helps their budget too!
We also have a daughter who just turned 7 months old, and implementing these two plans before her first Christmas and birthday means that both we and she will be in the habit, alleviating the budget breaking (and the attitude!) we are now battling with the older child.
"My Story" is a regular feature of The Dollar Stretcher. If you have a story that could help save time or money please send it to MyStory@stretcher.com
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